"I am just an ordinary fashion victim, with an aversion to humans, and best described as being pensive and peculiar..."

...so I have come to the realization that I don't care what people think. I couldn't count how many times I have been called, "weird" or an "oddball" by my peers, and to be honest, I don't give a shit. Not giving a shit is a wonderful feeling. I should let it be known that I have been severely self conscious since about the age of 10.... So that means that I have never been able to acknowledge/ /accept compliments, which sucks. Also I became afraid that if I speak my mind I will be disliked, not only by other ppl, but most importantly by myself. Which really fucking sucks.

Having this negative/ /low opinion of myself has gotten easier to deal with throughout the years, and up until now I hadn't thought about how much I dislike(d) myself. I mindlessly treated every day as I did the one previous, hating myself a little bit more. What's even worse is that I let this uncomfortable version of myself take over. I can only be my true self when I am alone..... Such a scary/ /weird thing to finally admit, but it's true.
Around others I tend to come off as being very uncomfortable and awkward (which is me twenty-four sevs), when in actuality I am naturally super calm and chill.
And so I had the thought, "What if everyone knew the real me? Would they even like me? Of course they wouldn't like me.... I mean, I don't even like me half the time." and so I got sad, for a moment, but after that momentary sadness faded I came to the realization that I don't care what people think. No one should care what people think.

Just as long as you dig yourself, then everything else will fall into place.






.:The StReeT Chanteuse:.